Can you live with yourself?

"There is nothing outside a man which by going into him can defile him; but the things which come out of a man are what defile him." Mark 7:15. I often tell people that I want to be Captain Jack Sparrow. Seriously. I am a big Johnny Depp fan and I just love that character; he fascinates me. I have probably watched all three of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies more than any other film that I know of. I love to see the story progress, though at times it is a bit unusual and can feel a little too involved. Most of all I love the adventure that it just takes you on. My favorite of the films is the third one-"At World's End". I don't think it had necessarily the best plot, and the ending is almost too 'trippy'. However, the little saying and one liners, and motifs we find in this movie I think are great lessons we can take and apply to our everyday Christian life. Now I must put in this DISCLAIMER. As a Catholic striving to live an promote the teachings of the Church, I must address the paradox of the entire idea of the "Pirates" movies. The protagonists and heroes we love and celebrate are thieves and murderers and the lifestyle that they lead and is in a way promoted by the films is NOT in line with the teachings of the Church and I do not condone of support it. Don't become pirates kids. Stealing and murdering and pillaging is sinful and wrong. So, I still contest that there is good in the movie that is presented even in the characters who are not living the most righteous lifestyle. Which goes to show that God can work in any heart. I could go on and on for hours about the different themes and typology that I see in the films, but I will focus in on the theme of redemption that I see in Captain Jack Sparrow. I want to look at just one line from the third film in the short exchange between him and his father played by Keith Richards. Jack Sparrow says to his dad "What? You've seen it all, done it all. Survived. That's the trick isn't it? To survive?" To which his elder and mysterious pirate father replies, " It's not just about living forever, Jackie. The trick is still living with yourself forever."

I was watching the film this summer and that line just jumped out at me! And it's within the next few scenes that play out where we see this theme of redemption come through in the character of Jack Sparrow. He has this crazy plan in the film to just live forever, to do what it takes to escape death, however if you go so far as to say, the short exchange with his dad is a sort of foreshadowing and we see in the end a change in Captain Jack. In the second film as he trades a close friend for a few extra days of freedom, Davy Jones asks him, "Can you live with yourself letting a be condemned to a life of servitude while you go free?" At the time Jack is fine with that. Yet in the third film he forfeits his own desires and in fact trades the opportunity for immortality and his own personal gain for those he cares about. This act of selflessness shows that change and begins in my mind to unpack the truth from the line by Keith Richards about living with yourself forever. What Jack Sparrow comes to realize that there is more to life than what we can get for ourselves, and it is what we do that makes us good or bad, more so, one could go so far as to say that our interactions and relationships with other people are what matter most in this life.

As Christians this applies to us particularly. Our goal is to live forever; to have eternal life. But at what cost? How does one inherit eternal life? Through our understanding of Scriptures and the Church it is by baptism and a relationship with Jesus Christ. But more than that, it is the living out of that relationship with Christ that bring us to heaven. So often as Christians we try to measure our own holiness. This is an absolutely ridiculous idea, but we do it anyway. Too many times we try to measure our own holiness against others specifically in how much one prays or how many works of mercy, or just good things one does. However, holiness is not measure in absence of sin, but rather presence of God. Holiness is a journey, not a destination. Holiness is a relationship with a living being. How well we do in that relationship and how much we let it impact the way we ourselves live is what determines how holy we are. To lose sight of that can be both dangerous an discouraging.

In the vain of pirates, we see even the most vain and self interested character in Jack Sparrow and in the end when faced with the idea of eternity and life and death he chooses the path that he can best live with. We are indeed led to believe that he had every intention of doing what he had to for himself but chose the path that kept his conscience clean. Ultimately, as his father said, the trick is living with yourself forever. As we walk through life it isn't how well we pray or how little we sin, how perfect we make ourselves feel that determine our holiness. So when we look at our lives and our relationship with Christ in the scope of eternity, are our consciences clean? Do we really have that presence of God? Is the way we are living now a way that we can look back on at the end of our lives and still feel good about? Can we truly live with ourselves rather than knowing we did just what it took to get ahead for ourselves. Because it isn't how perfect we seem, for "There is nothing outside a man which by going into him can defile him; but the things which come out of a man are what defile him." Mark 7:15. And the good news is that we don't have to do it alone. "Strive even unto death for the truth and the Lord will fight for you." Sirach 4:28